I Tried to Find the ‘Arousal Intelligence’ In An Animated, Augmented Reality Porn Star

Sometimes people—especially those in the field of public relations doing a pray-and-spray campaign, but also small-time developers, the occasional delusional vibe-coder, and local dipshits—deliver messages to my inbox like a cat dropping a dead mouse on my doorstep. For the most part, I resist the bait: often, bad press is still press to these people, or I’m just too busy to really look at the pitch or try the product. 

This week, I’m coming back from a week of being entirely offline. I didn’t look at the news or my inboxes for seven straight days. I’m feeling properly healed, and also like I need to retraumatize myself back into the swing of things. Lucky me, on Monday morning, someone representing EnjoyMeNow emailed me about “a mobile website that places a photorealistic 3D character in your real room using augmented reality” using something called “Arousal Intelligence” and “real-time physics,” which streams “in a full engine from a global delivery network.” This press release, sent from “a globally focused media and entertainment holding company pioneering technology-driven innovation across digital platforms worldwide” called DCBG Group which represents EnjoyMeNow, was very thrilling to read as someone who appreciates the art of a good word salad. I dropped what I was doing (deleting hundreds of other emails) to try it out. 

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